Rain, job, life update

My blog lacks life updates.

I've been going through an awkward phase for the past two years. I've tried not to be all philosophical and Generation Why-ee on the blog. But every time I start writing life updates, things get 'philosophical' and Generation Why-ee real fast. So I delete everything and post some Instagrams! This is me inside a tree.

Here's what's happening. 

London is wet and chilly. Summer hasn't arrived and I'm not sure it will. June was the rainiest June since 1910, and we received 3x the monthly rainfall average in the first ten days of July. For as long as I can remember, the ten day weather forecast has consisted of rows of gray clouds with the occasional red lightening bolt.  Last week I couldn't find my raincoat and refused to buy another one, in protest. (I've since found my raincoat, thank goodness.) It's yuck. I know it's hot in the States, but I would give a little toe for sun and shorts and the sweet relief of a cold beverage. I like London when the sun's out. But the sun's rarely out. And in the never ending rain, it's soggy, dirty, and gray.

One quiet Friday afternoon at the bank, my dear colleagues were googling each other and stumbled across this blog. As they clicked through, I was mortified. I was also very thankful I choose not to discuss my job (in detail) online. If you ever have questions about investment banking or my role in the industry (is that vague enough?), please email me. My internship ends mid-August, and then I'm meeting Hannah in Italy for a few days of traveling. And then… no idea. 

I mean, I have ideas. Lots of them.

I've been busy applying for jobs, interviewing for jobs, worrying about jobs, discussing jobs for a few months now. My strategy targets the continental United States, London, and Australia. I'm covering all my bases. The search has its ups and downs. I love the rush after a good interview and the hope after applying for that perfect job that I'm overqualified for (which happened once, and 24 hours later, I was rejected, but you know… the hope in the beginning was great). I enjoyed writing my first four cover letters, but now I begin every cover letter by opening Word and grumpily typing 'JUST GIVE ME THIS JOB.' 

When I'm in a good mood, it's exciting 'having options' and being young and talking about the future. When I'm in a bad mood, I'm convinced I'm going to be broke, alone, and cynical forever. And if you send me articles about the bad economy, god help you.

I've come up with a system to help me deal with uncertainty. I list all my options and highlight the pros and cons for each.

Some examples.

No job, sleeping on my sister's dirt floor pantry in Alabama 
Pros: sunny weather, being near family, biscuits and gravy
Cons: no money, no friends, no Dave

Or,

Interning for free at a nonprofit or comms agency in Colorado 
Pros: sunny weather, work experience I want, Shelley lives in Denver
Cons: no money, no family, no Dave

Or,

Working in finance in London 
Pros: money, Dave, being in the same place for 1+ years
Cons:  the *&^**%&*! rain, professional angst, I miss my friends

Basically, I will enjoy and benefit from being anywhere, somehow.

Fun things I've done lately: a girls weekend with church folk, staying out til the sun came up, eating lots of pasta and pizza, reading good books. Tonight I might go to a surprise birthday party, if I convince myself to change out of my sweat pants and venture back outside (lame, I know). Next weekend we're going to a friend's wedding in Oxford. Then the Olympics, then Italy, and between now and then, I've got four days off to squeeze in.  

Life ain't too terrible.

mb